Day Twenty Three: Overcommiting?

Perhaps I've gone overboard in constructing too many goals for the near term. However, it is only by great effort that one can become great. I've decided that not only will I run a marathon in February, but I also will commit to writing an entire novel in the month of November, as a part of  National novel writing month. I've always wanted to write a novel, so why wait? Of course, dear readers (you invisible souls), during novel writing month I will have to pause my activity here in order to dedicate all of my writing abilities to the mental marathon that such a large task will require.

On top of my mental marathon and actual marathon, I will have to maintain my research responsibilties as well; so, the question is, am I setting myself up for failure? Maybe. Maybe I am. But, if I can pull off this herculean task, it will be through efficient use of time and extraordinary self control. This month will have been but a warm up to greater challenges.

I am both excited and scared; these next few months will be months of great change. I am ready to embrace the destiny that awaits me at the end of these arduous tasks, and while the temptation will be strong to quit, I know that I will not, because I am a stronger person than I was only a few weeks ago, and that strength has not yet reached its apex. My will grows and I will grow with it.

We only live once, and at the end of our lives, as we sit nearly infirm in our beds, we will reflect on what we did. I do not want to reflect and wish that I had been better, had done more, had attempted what scared me. This month has been about generating momentum, and the months that follow are about exponentially ramping up that momentum so that I, like the juggernaut, can crash through the self-limiting beliefs and walls that I have erected for myself over so many years.

Today, I felt so alive, so vibrant, even as I slaved away on a paper. I knew that I could handle whatever it is that life would throw at me. I like this changed me, I like where I am heading. Although the path will be terribly difficult, and I will not often feel as positive as I do today, I believe sincerely that I will be better because of this journey and do not want to concede defeat just yet.

In november I will write fifty thousand words, and in february I will take fifty thousand steps, the body will follow where the mind leads. Now, while I have the vantage point of a manic high I revel already in the completion of my goals, which will only be accomplished through the tedium of day to day work. I may fail, this I acknowledge; but I hope I do not, I hope that me in a few weeks can maintain this momentum and force through the short term pain to reach long term freedom from my self-destructive habits.

Tomorrow will be the first run for marathon training, I must get a new pair of shoes to christen for this momentous occassion. My momentum must accumulate, I must keep moving.