Day Eighteen: Moderation

MODERATION. Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.

Today, I am reflecting on yet another of Benjamin Franklin's principles of self-improvement. The principle for today is moderation, which has a different meaning than temperance (although that at first seem similar).

Moderation in Franklin's context means to not hold a grudge nor an extereme position (e.g. extreme liberal or extreme conservative). The logic behind not holding a grudge, is that a grudge benefits no one, neither youself nor the person you begrudge. The benefit behind not holding an extreme position is that if you are in fact wrong, you will not be as wrong as you are if you held a more extreme position. That is, a centrist's potential error is only half that of the extreme left or right. This is a good rule of thumb, but like all rules of thumb, there may be exceptions.

Lets take the first part first, that of not holding a grudge. It is easy to get emotionally worked up when you feel like you have been disrespected. The reactionary feelings of animosity can ferment with time, developing (if untreated) into the terrible plague of hatred.

A grudge will lead you to treat the begrudged differently, most likely worse, than you would otherwise treat him or her. This may create a feedback loop in which they reciprocate with further disrespect which feeds the grudge. In the end, the situation has gotten out of control, and both parties are worse off.

If instead, the grudge is dropped, and you begin treating the begrudged with respect, they are more likely to reciprocate with mutual respect. In the ideal situation, although you are conceding your right to be angry over the disrespect, the situation is much better at the end.

Things do not always work out so cleanly, however. If the disrespect continues despite your honest efforts to mend whatever rift has been made, then further action may be necessary. This action must be carefully considered so as not to lead to some sort of amplifying feedback loop. The action should have the effect of cutting off interaction with that person, or at least making plain that the disrespect cannot continue.

Now let us consider the second part of moderation, which is to avoid extreme positions. In general, I think this makes perfect sense: An extreme position has the tendency to alienate and offend others, even those with mild interest. An extreme position is a liability that may draw you often into prolonged debates. Especially when arguing against another extreme, such debates are merely excercises in futility: Neither side is likely to consider the other's arguments to the point that they may actual change their opinion of the matter.

A potential hedge is to maintain internally an extreme position, but to profess publicly a more centrist position. This requires an act of dissemblence, which contradicts another of Franklin's principles, that of sincerity. However, if one must maintain a radical extreme view, perhaps it is better to sacrifice sincerity to avoid prolonged arguments and alienating others. In most situations though, it is best to have a moderate position. Why do I think this?

Because, if there is quite a variety of opinion on a matter, it is likely that you may be wrong in your opinion. This is not always the case, but at least having a moderate opinion means you are likely more open to hearing the opposing sides arguments and at least carefully considering them.

Although Ben Franklin may advocate never having extreme opinions, I think that the more important concept is that of being open-minded. I don't personally believe that having an extreme opinion is a moral flaw, but being unreasonable and not considering an opposing point of view, is a flaw. We should always be willing to revise our position based on integrating new evidence or arguments.

Part of this is related to ego; we always want to be right, and are often more sure of our rightness than we are often right. So, to acknowledge that one may be wrong is to acknowledge our own imperfection (which is innate, none of us is perfect); it is to acknowledge one's own humanity.

In conclusion, in most cases it is better to not hold grudges (as long as the offenses truly are forgivable), and to not hold extreme views (unless you are truly certain of your position, and this position is of utmost importance to you). But, even when you do hold grudges or extreme positions, the most important thing is to be open-minded to revising your position or your perhaps unmerited hatred of another.