Writing is a draining process; I comitted yesterday night to writing all of today, and in general, I believe I was successful. After a few hours of respite out with friends, I have returned to write once again, not technical writing thankfully, but my daily contribution to this archive that no one yet reads. There is something exciting about publishing, that this material is 'out there' if someone did want to read it, even though I acknowledge that no one is likely to ever find it. But that it is there, that I have contributed some of my ideas into the evervescent network known as the internet, is for some reason comforting.
But I digress. Today was successful in that I kept my promises to myself with respect to drinking (I had two diet cokes and a delicious bubble tea), and with respect to writing (both my day of writing and this blog post). However, by expending my willpower in those areas, my diet took a plunge. It seems like action and reaction; willpower seems to be a finite resource for me, I cannot deny myself all of the material pleasures at once yet.
Someday, perhaps I will be able to, as long as I continue to strive against the current, pushing with all of my strength to control my simple primative desires and to realize my beautiful long term goals. I have to remind myself always of what I dream to accomplish, and how only the constant repetition of hard work will get me there.
There was a moment tonight where I debated having a beer; it would have been easier than explaining to my friends the strange arbitrary pact I made with myself to not drink for a few weeks. The old me would have taken this easier path, but during the month of discipline I decided to take a stand. I differentiated myself, I was the only person not drinking; where usually I like to stand in the background, become one with the crowd, I was forced to the foreground, to become a reluctant target for attention.
I felt silly asking the bartender if he had anything non-alcoholic, hoping for some kind of o'douls that might have passed a cursory inspection, and the diet coke can he handed me might well have been a bullseye; I appeared different than those around me, separated from them because of my choice to not drink. And the beers called to me in their siren song; their sweet scents and tasty flavors serenaded me seductively, drawing me into their trap. Yet I was tied to the mast of the ship by the bond of a self-promise and although I heard their melodies, the bond held.
And now, here it is, three in the morning, and the bond is holding me to continue writing down these words. Letters and words, the title of this strange diary, the translation of my ideas into reality. In the night, my mind is always drawn from the mundane day-to-day details of life to the more mysterious questions that haunt me about this strange place we live in.
Forgive my philosophical rant, I merely wish to let the words find their way from my brain to my fingers and through wires spreading outwards. The filter is off tonight and the ideas simply wish to find their way to infect other brains with their strange messages. I can't blame them; they only wish to survive, as I do. And yet, someday I will die, although perhaps an idea or two of mine may survive a bit beyond my mortal shell. They too, will slowly fade. Nothing can stay.
Ozymandius was a mighty man who made mighty statues in the sand. Now, they are all but gone; we are but fireflies in a vast vast night who twinkle a few times before they light no longer. Tomorrow is guarenteed to no one, and today quickly slips silently into a growing sea of yesterdays. One day, tomorrow will come no longer, and all that I am, will cease to be forevermore. If only I knew what it all meant, the overarching purpose behind this strange life, if there is any real magic to be seen here or whether all is ultimately the same as nothing?
If there is a god, he is a strange deity, one who seems not to care about our very mundane human affairs. If I met him, I don't know whether I would look up to him or curse him; why must all men search futilely to understand his origins and his ultimate destiny? It is beautiful and dark, this life. It is bright and bleak mixed together in a strange hue.
Saturday, October 24, 2009
Thursday, October 22, 2009
Day Nineteen: Going Through The Motions
Each of the few past days, I've willed myself through writing an entry in this blog. I've foolishly put it off until I've had little energy remaining and the temptation becomes strong to blow off writing and simply go to sleep. But I can be proud of the fact that I did not give in to the simple temptation; however, I did not write my best work either, it was uninspired, written simply to fufill a goal.
Sometimes it seems as if going through the motions is necessary. At least it further solidifies the habit of writing daily, and although good writing requires energy and passion, just the rote practice of an activity may improve one's skill. Writing is such an amazing skill, one that I do wish to master, that establishing this habit is of utmost importance.
Fake it until you make it, a tired cliche, but one that I believe applies here. I have to continue plowing through this blog, hoping that as I practice writing, my writing will improve. This is not guarenteed; without the feedback of others, I am depending on my own aesthetic taste of my own writing to be a benchmark. This could be unwise, as I could very well be very biased. So, perhaps I need to invest in getting this blog a readership so that I have someone to judge my posts. At the same time, investing such eneregy means that I have less to invest in other, perhaps more important, ventures.
For now, I will continue forcing myself to write here daily, especially during the last few weeks of this month of discipline. I currently have little hope of this blog catching on in any significant way, but at least it will stand here if anyone is interested in my personal struggle here with self discipline.
Tomorrow, I am challenging myself to write all day; not in this blog, but a paper that is my next scholastic challenge. I always seem to find excuses to put off these intense writing tasks. But tomorrow, I will be strong and focused, and will make significant progress.
One thing I must resist, is the temptation to drink tomorrow night; it will be extremely difficult, and I have actively placed myself in an extremely tempting location that has many delicious beers. I fear that I may capitulate, because the day of writing may sap all the self-restraint that I have. However, I am up to the challenge, and I believe that I may surprise myself with restraint.
The payoff is self-respect, while the cost is a humbling sense of failure. While a beer is tasty, it is not worth the heavy demoralization that failure brings, especially when this is the last weekend before I will allow myself to drink (at least temporarily, for Halloween!). Drinking is a crutch, a simple drug that dulls worry temporarily. It is a welcome relief, a delightful medicine, and yet, somewhat of an addiction.
I do not speak of physical addiction in the sense that an alcoholic depends on alcohol, but that I get a certain pleasure from drinking in moderation which I should not get accustomed to. It provides a nice vehicle for practicing self-discipline, and keeps me from making bad short-sited decisions.
Tomorrow, I will make an active effort to produce a more coherent post, today's is disappointly merely a stream-of-thought, with no real message. It is sadly a masturbatory piece that has no real value. Yet, I hope that the mere practice of constructing even a shoddy article will lead me infinitesimly closer to being the great writer that I aspire to be.
Sometimes it seems as if going through the motions is necessary. At least it further solidifies the habit of writing daily, and although good writing requires energy and passion, just the rote practice of an activity may improve one's skill. Writing is such an amazing skill, one that I do wish to master, that establishing this habit is of utmost importance.
Fake it until you make it, a tired cliche, but one that I believe applies here. I have to continue plowing through this blog, hoping that as I practice writing, my writing will improve. This is not guarenteed; without the feedback of others, I am depending on my own aesthetic taste of my own writing to be a benchmark. This could be unwise, as I could very well be very biased. So, perhaps I need to invest in getting this blog a readership so that I have someone to judge my posts. At the same time, investing such eneregy means that I have less to invest in other, perhaps more important, ventures.
For now, I will continue forcing myself to write here daily, especially during the last few weeks of this month of discipline. I currently have little hope of this blog catching on in any significant way, but at least it will stand here if anyone is interested in my personal struggle here with self discipline.
Tomorrow, I am challenging myself to write all day; not in this blog, but a paper that is my next scholastic challenge. I always seem to find excuses to put off these intense writing tasks. But tomorrow, I will be strong and focused, and will make significant progress.
One thing I must resist, is the temptation to drink tomorrow night; it will be extremely difficult, and I have actively placed myself in an extremely tempting location that has many delicious beers. I fear that I may capitulate, because the day of writing may sap all the self-restraint that I have. However, I am up to the challenge, and I believe that I may surprise myself with restraint.
The payoff is self-respect, while the cost is a humbling sense of failure. While a beer is tasty, it is not worth the heavy demoralization that failure brings, especially when this is the last weekend before I will allow myself to drink (at least temporarily, for Halloween!). Drinking is a crutch, a simple drug that dulls worry temporarily. It is a welcome relief, a delightful medicine, and yet, somewhat of an addiction.
I do not speak of physical addiction in the sense that an alcoholic depends on alcohol, but that I get a certain pleasure from drinking in moderation which I should not get accustomed to. It provides a nice vehicle for practicing self-discipline, and keeps me from making bad short-sited decisions.
Tomorrow, I will make an active effort to produce a more coherent post, today's is disappointly merely a stream-of-thought, with no real message. It is sadly a masturbatory piece that has no real value. Yet, I hope that the mere practice of constructing even a shoddy article will lead me infinitesimly closer to being the great writer that I aspire to be.
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
Day Eighteen: Moderation
MODERATION. Avoid extreams; forbear resenting injuries so much as you think they deserve.
Today, I am reflecting on yet another of Benjamin Franklin's principles of self-improvement. The principle for today is moderation, which has a different meaning than temperance (although that at first seem similar).
Moderation in Franklin's context means to not hold a grudge nor an extereme position (e.g. extreme liberal or extreme conservative). The logic behind not holding a grudge, is that a grudge benefits no one, neither youself nor the person you begrudge. The benefit behind not holding an extreme position is that if you are in fact wrong, you will not be as wrong as you are if you held a more extreme position. That is, a centrist's potential error is only half that of the extreme left or right. This is a good rule of thumb, but like all rules of thumb, there may be exceptions.
Lets take the first part first, that of not holding a grudge. It is easy to get emotionally worked up when you feel like you have been disrespected. The reactionary feelings of animosity can ferment with time, developing (if untreated) into the terrible plague of hatred.
A grudge will lead you to treat the begrudged differently, most likely worse, than you would otherwise treat him or her. This may create a feedback loop in which they reciprocate with further disrespect which feeds the grudge. In the end, the situation has gotten out of control, and both parties are worse off.
If instead, the grudge is dropped, and you begin treating the begrudged with respect, they are more likely to reciprocate with mutual respect. In the ideal situation, although you are conceding your right to be angry over the disrespect, the situation is much better at the end.
Things do not always work out so cleanly, however. If the disrespect continues despite your honest efforts to mend whatever rift has been made, then further action may be necessary. This action must be carefully considered so as not to lead to some sort of amplifying feedback loop. The action should have the effect of cutting off interaction with that person, or at least making plain that the disrespect cannot continue.
Now let us consider the second part of moderation, which is to avoid extreme positions. In general, I think this makes perfect sense: An extreme position has the tendency to alienate and offend others, even those with mild interest. An extreme position is a liability that may draw you often into prolonged debates. Especially when arguing against another extreme, such debates are merely excercises in futility: Neither side is likely to consider the other's arguments to the point that they may actual change their opinion of the matter.
A potential hedge is to maintain internally an extreme position, but to profess publicly a more centrist position. This requires an act of dissemblence, which contradicts another of Franklin's principles, that of sincerity. However, if one must maintain a radical extreme view, perhaps it is better to sacrifice sincerity to avoid prolonged arguments and alienating others. In most situations though, it is best to have a moderate position. Why do I think this?
Because, if there is quite a variety of opinion on a matter, it is likely that you may be wrong in your opinion. This is not always the case, but at least having a moderate opinion means you are likely more open to hearing the opposing sides arguments and at least carefully considering them.
Although Ben Franklin may advocate never having extreme opinions, I think that the more important concept is that of being open-minded. I don't personally believe that having an extreme opinion is a moral flaw, but being unreasonable and not considering an opposing point of view, is a flaw. We should always be willing to revise our position based on integrating new evidence or arguments.
Part of this is related to ego; we always want to be right, and are often more sure of our rightness than we are often right. So, to acknowledge that one may be wrong is to acknowledge our own imperfection (which is innate, none of us is perfect); it is to acknowledge one's own humanity.
In conclusion, in most cases it is better to not hold grudges (as long as the offenses truly are forgivable), and to not hold extreme views (unless you are truly certain of your position, and this position is of utmost importance to you). But, even when you do hold grudges or extreme positions, the most important thing is to be open-minded to revising your position or your perhaps unmerited hatred of another.
Today, I am reflecting on yet another of Benjamin Franklin's principles of self-improvement. The principle for today is moderation, which has a different meaning than temperance (although that at first seem similar).
Moderation in Franklin's context means to not hold a grudge nor an extereme position (e.g. extreme liberal or extreme conservative). The logic behind not holding a grudge, is that a grudge benefits no one, neither youself nor the person you begrudge. The benefit behind not holding an extreme position is that if you are in fact wrong, you will not be as wrong as you are if you held a more extreme position. That is, a centrist's potential error is only half that of the extreme left or right. This is a good rule of thumb, but like all rules of thumb, there may be exceptions.
Lets take the first part first, that of not holding a grudge. It is easy to get emotionally worked up when you feel like you have been disrespected. The reactionary feelings of animosity can ferment with time, developing (if untreated) into the terrible plague of hatred.
A grudge will lead you to treat the begrudged differently, most likely worse, than you would otherwise treat him or her. This may create a feedback loop in which they reciprocate with further disrespect which feeds the grudge. In the end, the situation has gotten out of control, and both parties are worse off.
If instead, the grudge is dropped, and you begin treating the begrudged with respect, they are more likely to reciprocate with mutual respect. In the ideal situation, although you are conceding your right to be angry over the disrespect, the situation is much better at the end.
Things do not always work out so cleanly, however. If the disrespect continues despite your honest efforts to mend whatever rift has been made, then further action may be necessary. This action must be carefully considered so as not to lead to some sort of amplifying feedback loop. The action should have the effect of cutting off interaction with that person, or at least making plain that the disrespect cannot continue.
Now let us consider the second part of moderation, which is to avoid extreme positions. In general, I think this makes perfect sense: An extreme position has the tendency to alienate and offend others, even those with mild interest. An extreme position is a liability that may draw you often into prolonged debates. Especially when arguing against another extreme, such debates are merely excercises in futility: Neither side is likely to consider the other's arguments to the point that they may actual change their opinion of the matter.
A potential hedge is to maintain internally an extreme position, but to profess publicly a more centrist position. This requires an act of dissemblence, which contradicts another of Franklin's principles, that of sincerity. However, if one must maintain a radical extreme view, perhaps it is better to sacrifice sincerity to avoid prolonged arguments and alienating others. In most situations though, it is best to have a moderate position. Why do I think this?
Because, if there is quite a variety of opinion on a matter, it is likely that you may be wrong in your opinion. This is not always the case, but at least having a moderate opinion means you are likely more open to hearing the opposing sides arguments and at least carefully considering them.
Although Ben Franklin may advocate never having extreme opinions, I think that the more important concept is that of being open-minded. I don't personally believe that having an extreme opinion is a moral flaw, but being unreasonable and not considering an opposing point of view, is a flaw. We should always be willing to revise our position based on integrating new evidence or arguments.
Part of this is related to ego; we always want to be right, and are often more sure of our rightness than we are often right. So, to acknowledge that one may be wrong is to acknowledge our own imperfection (which is innate, none of us is perfect); it is to acknowledge one's own humanity.
In conclusion, in most cases it is better to not hold grudges (as long as the offenses truly are forgivable), and to not hold extreme views (unless you are truly certain of your position, and this position is of utmost importance to you). But, even when you do hold grudges or extreme positions, the most important thing is to be open-minded to revising your position or your perhaps unmerited hatred of another.
Tuesday, October 20, 2009
Day Seventeen: Justice
JUSTICE. Wrong none by doing injuries, or omitting the benefits that are your duty.
Today, I'll reflect on another of Ben Franklin's 13 self-improvement principles, justice. This principle relates more to morality than to self-discipline, but there is some overlap, and regardless of whether it relates to self-discipline or not, it is simply a good moral rule to live by, one that can make me a better person.
Sometimes, it is easier to comprimise one's morals by allowing an injustice to stand rather than to stand up for what is right. From the great film, The Boondock Saints: "We must always fear the wicked. But there is another kind of evil that we must fear the most, and that is the indifference of good men."
I must therefore endeavour to not be indifferent to situations that are clearly wrong, even if it means a difficulty that would otherwise be avoided. And further, I must be mindful of my actions, that I am not actively causing injury.
The one aspect of my life in which I inflict the most harm I believe are in my relationships with women. And while in the past I've maintained my innocence, I'll be mature now and admit that the injury is my fault and I should not be so callous in my actions, especially when they relate to such a fragile organ as a woman's heart.
My pattern with women has become clear through its repetition. After some time alone, I want a woman's company; the problem is that it is rare that I meet a girl that I am truly interested in. I find myself trying to make a square peg fit a round hole, trying to force myself to fall for someone I will never feel for deeply.
For awhile, my charade may hold up, but inevitably it tends to fall apart. I can no longer pretend to care, and as my care is waning, hers is growing. At some point, she knows she is in too deep, and will attempt to reach out to me. I can offer no solace, and the injury is complete.
The solution is simple; I must be careful with others' hearts. I cannot be so callous to satiate my own selfish lonliness at the cost of her happiness. It feels good to be liked, but eventually that vibrant like flirts with love and then to revulsion as the facade of my emotions crumble.
I must act with justice in my interactions with women, it is right and something that I must do. The tie-in with self-discipline is manifest: In the short term, it is pleasurable, but long-term it brings pain. I must sacrifice the short-term for the long-term, as difficult as it seems to be.
Today, I'll reflect on another of Ben Franklin's 13 self-improvement principles, justice. This principle relates more to morality than to self-discipline, but there is some overlap, and regardless of whether it relates to self-discipline or not, it is simply a good moral rule to live by, one that can make me a better person.
Sometimes, it is easier to comprimise one's morals by allowing an injustice to stand rather than to stand up for what is right. From the great film, The Boondock Saints: "We must always fear the wicked. But there is another kind of evil that we must fear the most, and that is the indifference of good men."
I must therefore endeavour to not be indifferent to situations that are clearly wrong, even if it means a difficulty that would otherwise be avoided. And further, I must be mindful of my actions, that I am not actively causing injury.
The one aspect of my life in which I inflict the most harm I believe are in my relationships with women. And while in the past I've maintained my innocence, I'll be mature now and admit that the injury is my fault and I should not be so callous in my actions, especially when they relate to such a fragile organ as a woman's heart.
My pattern with women has become clear through its repetition. After some time alone, I want a woman's company; the problem is that it is rare that I meet a girl that I am truly interested in. I find myself trying to make a square peg fit a round hole, trying to force myself to fall for someone I will never feel for deeply.
For awhile, my charade may hold up, but inevitably it tends to fall apart. I can no longer pretend to care, and as my care is waning, hers is growing. At some point, she knows she is in too deep, and will attempt to reach out to me. I can offer no solace, and the injury is complete.
The solution is simple; I must be careful with others' hearts. I cannot be so callous to satiate my own selfish lonliness at the cost of her happiness. It feels good to be liked, but eventually that vibrant like flirts with love and then to revulsion as the facade of my emotions crumble.
I must act with justice in my interactions with women, it is right and something that I must do. The tie-in with self-discipline is manifest: In the short term, it is pleasurable, but long-term it brings pain. I must sacrifice the short-term for the long-term, as difficult as it seems to be.
Monday, October 19, 2009
Day Sixteen: Nose to the Grindstone
The pile of work is large, and time, as always is short. It is abundandtly clear what is necessary: Hard, continuous labor. But there is a distraction in that the pile is so varied and large that it is overwhelming to pick only aspect to work on.
This was the situation that I found myself in this morning. I decided to medicate myself with caffeine, and to dedicate myself to the grind. While I was moderately successful, and did meet some of my goals, I was not entirely focused.
I was distracted, as I always am, but my various news sites. Thus, tomorrow I will not visit them once. I was also distracted by the fact that there are many aspects of work that I need to complete. And while I was working on one, my mind was also drawn astray by others. Thus, I must plan for the day which aspects of my work I will focus on, and to what degree. Then, I will not be distracted by thinking of other aspects because I will know that they will be handled another day.
This plan of eliminating distractions seems like a good way to leverage my willpower. If I have no TV, I cannot fall prey to its call. If I commit to a plan for the day, it should remove thoughts of alternate tasks from my mind. If I block the news sites that distract me (the next step), then the time I would waste on them will be reallocated (hopefully to more productive pursuits).
So, I must continue making reachable concrete goals for each day, and alloting time to reach them. I must begin to mechanically eliminate distractions so that I will have no choice but to do work. At the same time, I am establishing a routine of un-fun chores such as working out, writing a blog entry, flossing, and tidying up my room that provide daily tests to my willpower such that it may slowly increase in power over time.
The power of compound interest has been a driving factor in my life ever since I mastered the guitar, and then tennis. What I mean by compound interest is really a long-term mindset. Most people don't save enough for their retirement because it is more fun to spend now rather than leverage compound interest by saving (in effect stretching their money exponentially further).
When I first starting playing guitar, it was difficult and progress was pitifully slow. The only thing that kept me playing was my unsatiated sex drive (I wanted to impress girls). The accumulation of effort over time to learn new skills is amazing. An hour each day, although tiring, eventually brought me to be a very good guitarist. It was a good investment, because it is a skill that will be with me for my entire life, and I likely will only get better.
It was a similar story for tennis. I wanted to be on the varsity team, and so I would play a match every day (working much harder than other players). Eventually I reached my goal, and will be a good tennis player for life. More importantly, tennis helped solidify my long-term goal attitude, and the value of making small incremental time investments in order to reach the long-term goal. Playing tennis each day or guitar each day, while each match or playing session was inconsequential, the accumulation of effort over time was important.
So while tennis and guitar were good investments of time for their own sake, investing in self-discipline will be the best investment I will ever make. If I can develop this skill by daily efforts, it can improve every aspect of my life, for the rest of my life. This can be illustrated by a simple mind experiment: Imagine I do follow through with getting rid of my TV (and never get another one for the rest of my life). If I were sitting on my deathbed, would I regret not watching more TV? No, I would regret the other things I had wasted time on and the opportunities I did not have the courage to take.
I have to keep this long-term mindset, and make painful sacrifices now in order to make the most of this fleeting life.
This was the situation that I found myself in this morning. I decided to medicate myself with caffeine, and to dedicate myself to the grind. While I was moderately successful, and did meet some of my goals, I was not entirely focused.
I was distracted, as I always am, but my various news sites. Thus, tomorrow I will not visit them once. I was also distracted by the fact that there are many aspects of work that I need to complete. And while I was working on one, my mind was also drawn astray by others. Thus, I must plan for the day which aspects of my work I will focus on, and to what degree. Then, I will not be distracted by thinking of other aspects because I will know that they will be handled another day.
This plan of eliminating distractions seems like a good way to leverage my willpower. If I have no TV, I cannot fall prey to its call. If I commit to a plan for the day, it should remove thoughts of alternate tasks from my mind. If I block the news sites that distract me (the next step), then the time I would waste on them will be reallocated (hopefully to more productive pursuits).
So, I must continue making reachable concrete goals for each day, and alloting time to reach them. I must begin to mechanically eliminate distractions so that I will have no choice but to do work. At the same time, I am establishing a routine of un-fun chores such as working out, writing a blog entry, flossing, and tidying up my room that provide daily tests to my willpower such that it may slowly increase in power over time.
The power of compound interest has been a driving factor in my life ever since I mastered the guitar, and then tennis. What I mean by compound interest is really a long-term mindset. Most people don't save enough for their retirement because it is more fun to spend now rather than leverage compound interest by saving (in effect stretching their money exponentially further).
When I first starting playing guitar, it was difficult and progress was pitifully slow. The only thing that kept me playing was my unsatiated sex drive (I wanted to impress girls). The accumulation of effort over time to learn new skills is amazing. An hour each day, although tiring, eventually brought me to be a very good guitarist. It was a good investment, because it is a skill that will be with me for my entire life, and I likely will only get better.
It was a similar story for tennis. I wanted to be on the varsity team, and so I would play a match every day (working much harder than other players). Eventually I reached my goal, and will be a good tennis player for life. More importantly, tennis helped solidify my long-term goal attitude, and the value of making small incremental time investments in order to reach the long-term goal. Playing tennis each day or guitar each day, while each match or playing session was inconsequential, the accumulation of effort over time was important.
So while tennis and guitar were good investments of time for their own sake, investing in self-discipline will be the best investment I will ever make. If I can develop this skill by daily efforts, it can improve every aspect of my life, for the rest of my life. This can be illustrated by a simple mind experiment: Imagine I do follow through with getting rid of my TV (and never get another one for the rest of my life). If I were sitting on my deathbed, would I regret not watching more TV? No, I would regret the other things I had wasted time on and the opportunities I did not have the courage to take.
I have to keep this long-term mindset, and make painful sacrifices now in order to make the most of this fleeting life.
Sunday, October 18, 2009
Day Fifteen: Engineering Success
The temptations are ever-present: The TV beckons with its mindless entertainment, reddit and digg call with their endless stream of semi-interesting websites, and the food cupboard sings like a siren, demanding I sample its tasty treats.
Thus, each day is a battle with myself; my primitive brain demands satiation at the expense of my high-level brain's long term plans. One route to success is black-belt self-discipline kung-fu that decimates the primitive brain's pull by sheer force of will. Such self-discipline is beyond me currently, all though I am a willing apprentice and practice as much as I can.
An alternative route towards productivity and defeating temptation is for the long term planning brain to out-wit the primitive brain by removing temptations or at least creating less-destructive temptations.
An example of removing temptations is to get rid of all junk food from the house. Such removal stymies the primitive brain's desire for unhealthy snacks because satiating the desire then requires more than a simple trip to the kitchen.
An example of creating less-destructive temptations is to watch an educational program on TV instead of a mindless comedy. This is less destructive with respect to productivity because at least you are learning something. It is certainly better than nothing, but not as good as doing something fully productive.
This alternative route of removing and replacing temptations could be described as 'engineering success', because it utilizes the planning capabilities of our minds to circumvent the pull of our primitive brain's desires. It engineers a path through everyday life that meets our goals but does not require prodigious self-control. In contrast, the black-belt self-discipline kung-fu (willing ourselves to ignore every temptation) is more of a 'brute-force' route towards success (and is incredibly difficult).
So, given my current state, how can I engineer success with respect to being productive, and not overeating or overdrinking?
The first step I've taken is to get rid of my cable box and its demonic movies on demand feature! This devilish device provides horus upon hours of mindless entertainment at my fingertips. The next, more radical step in this sequence is to get rid of my TV. I know that watching TV is rarely helpful, but it is a nice way to wind down from a hard day. Yet, sometimes I find myself indulging the bad habit too often. Thus, its must go!
The next step is to avoid buying certain foods that lead me to overindulgence. I currently buy a lot of nuts (almonds, peanuts, soy nuts, etc.) because they are healthy in small doses and are damned tasty. However, I find myself snacking on them far too often. My self-discipline kung-fu is not yet developed enough that I can have these delicious morsels in the kitchen. They too, must go!
The last step, is to set goals for each day, and longer-term goals for each month. Everyone likes to succeed, and not to fail. So, I will have motivation then to reach these goals. If I fail, I will get angry at myself, which will provide drive to meet the next goal.
Although in an ideal world, I would have bruce-lee self-control, in this world I sadly do not possess it yet. So, instead of constantly fighting the current, I will instead engineer the river to flow smoothly downhill towards success.
Thus, each day is a battle with myself; my primitive brain demands satiation at the expense of my high-level brain's long term plans. One route to success is black-belt self-discipline kung-fu that decimates the primitive brain's pull by sheer force of will. Such self-discipline is beyond me currently, all though I am a willing apprentice and practice as much as I can.
An alternative route towards productivity and defeating temptation is for the long term planning brain to out-wit the primitive brain by removing temptations or at least creating less-destructive temptations.
An example of removing temptations is to get rid of all junk food from the house. Such removal stymies the primitive brain's desire for unhealthy snacks because satiating the desire then requires more than a simple trip to the kitchen.
An example of creating less-destructive temptations is to watch an educational program on TV instead of a mindless comedy. This is less destructive with respect to productivity because at least you are learning something. It is certainly better than nothing, but not as good as doing something fully productive.
This alternative route of removing and replacing temptations could be described as 'engineering success', because it utilizes the planning capabilities of our minds to circumvent the pull of our primitive brain's desires. It engineers a path through everyday life that meets our goals but does not require prodigious self-control. In contrast, the black-belt self-discipline kung-fu (willing ourselves to ignore every temptation) is more of a 'brute-force' route towards success (and is incredibly difficult).
So, given my current state, how can I engineer success with respect to being productive, and not overeating or overdrinking?
The first step I've taken is to get rid of my cable box and its demonic movies on demand feature! This devilish device provides horus upon hours of mindless entertainment at my fingertips. The next, more radical step in this sequence is to get rid of my TV. I know that watching TV is rarely helpful, but it is a nice way to wind down from a hard day. Yet, sometimes I find myself indulging the bad habit too often. Thus, its must go!
The next step is to avoid buying certain foods that lead me to overindulgence. I currently buy a lot of nuts (almonds, peanuts, soy nuts, etc.) because they are healthy in small doses and are damned tasty. However, I find myself snacking on them far too often. My self-discipline kung-fu is not yet developed enough that I can have these delicious morsels in the kitchen. They too, must go!
The last step, is to set goals for each day, and longer-term goals for each month. Everyone likes to succeed, and not to fail. So, I will have motivation then to reach these goals. If I fail, I will get angry at myself, which will provide drive to meet the next goal.
Although in an ideal world, I would have bruce-lee self-control, in this world I sadly do not possess it yet. So, instead of constantly fighting the current, I will instead engineer the river to flow smoothly downhill towards success.
Day Fourteen: The Weekend
The weekend has passed, and I've held off on drinking, which is a feat for me; I can't honestly recall the last weekend that I didn't at least have a beer or two. I don't often drink to get drunk, but I'll usually have at least two drinks over the course of a weekend night. My friends usually drink as well; but what is the point? Do I really need these chemicals in order to have a good time?
Well, of course I know that the answer is no, but it is a habit, and drinking does bring on a delightful hazy state. It puts the mind to rest, lowers our inhibitions, and allows us to relax. Beyond that, I've developed a taste for beer. The first time I ever had a beer, I thought it was completely vile. Now, I actually crave the flavor of a good beer.
I've gotten a little bit of ribbing from my friends these past days because I'm getting diet cokes instead of rum and cokes, but it really hasn't been much of an issue. And while I've been tempted to have a drink, the pressure hasn't been overwhelming to the point where I considered throwing in the towel.
Basically, drinking is a crutch. It allows me to do things that I wouldn't have the courage to do otherwise. For example, dancing. Dancing is fun, and I don't mind it; but I'm unlikely to dance unless I've had quite a bit to drink, because I am worried about 'looking cool.' I'm quite aware that I am not a super-awesome dancer, but when I am out with friends, honestly, who cares?
The fact of the matter is though, that I care too much what random strangers think, and what my friends think. I don't take enough chances and risks. I don't live enough. Getting rid of drinking really allows me to focus on these shortcomings, and hopefully will lead me further on my path of self-improvement.
Well, of course I know that the answer is no, but it is a habit, and drinking does bring on a delightful hazy state. It puts the mind to rest, lowers our inhibitions, and allows us to relax. Beyond that, I've developed a taste for beer. The first time I ever had a beer, I thought it was completely vile. Now, I actually crave the flavor of a good beer.
I've gotten a little bit of ribbing from my friends these past days because I'm getting diet cokes instead of rum and cokes, but it really hasn't been much of an issue. And while I've been tempted to have a drink, the pressure hasn't been overwhelming to the point where I considered throwing in the towel.
Basically, drinking is a crutch. It allows me to do things that I wouldn't have the courage to do otherwise. For example, dancing. Dancing is fun, and I don't mind it; but I'm unlikely to dance unless I've had quite a bit to drink, because I am worried about 'looking cool.' I'm quite aware that I am not a super-awesome dancer, but when I am out with friends, honestly, who cares?
The fact of the matter is though, that I care too much what random strangers think, and what my friends think. I don't take enough chances and risks. I don't live enough. Getting rid of drinking really allows me to focus on these shortcomings, and hopefully will lead me further on my path of self-improvement.
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